Moms! At the Movies.
Radical Proposition: Moms are people too.
Read Time: 7 mins
New to Venus? Welcome.
Dear Newsletter Hottie,
Did you know that moms are people too?! Clutches Pearls — I know. Shocking.
I’ve heard that moms have thoughts, feelings, dreams, and desires, some of which have absolutely nothing to do with their children. The nerve! How dare they!
Many moms had whole lives before becoming parents. Can you believe it?! Who would’ve thought…
You know what else is wild?
There are people who mother without ever having birthed the ones in their care.
Some people give birth but never take on the role of Mother™.
The capacity to give birth does not automatically result in the capacity to parent.
Not having birthed does not disqualify someone from having the wherewithal to protect, nurture, and sustain the wellbeing of children as they progress into adulthood.
🌀TRIPPPYYYY🌀
Maybe motherhood is not a binary experience?
What if there is no script, only individual trial, error, revision, and growth?! 🤯
Could it be that moms are neither exclusively saintly like Mary the mother of Jesus nor exclusively villainous like Jezebel the queen?
Radical.
Moms on Screen
Today we’ve got ten narratives driven by moms on screen. Characters considering questions of motherhood/parenthood; protagonists dealing with experiences shaped in-part by themes of mothering; and moms doing everything on screen except being confined to stereotypes of their cultural positioning.
Listed are eight of my faves (in no particular order except for #1, which is my #1) followed by two movies that I’m waiting to see in general release. Then, there’s your box of chocolates. Enjoy!
1. Volver (2006)
I remember first watching this on a DVD rented from my local library. There’s a lot of tomfoolery happening in the world right now so let’s have a moment of gratitude for the fact that local libraries continue to outlive Blockbuster (RIP except to the one still remaining in Bend, Oregon).
Pedro Almodóvar, Penélope Cruz, Carmen Maura, Lola Dueñas, are all an iconic collaborative bunch. If you only watch one movie from this list make it this one.
Between being obsessed with the other TCM — Turner Classic Movies — since middle school, my first job fresh out of high school working as an assistant at a casting company, studying film production in undergrad where my magnum opus (LOL) was a short titled The Dyke Duo Detective Agency, and thinking initially that I wanted to go to film school for an MFA (long story) trust that I’ve seen many movies. Volver remains my #1 favorite drama of all-time. ALL TIME.
2. Two Women (1960)
Speaking of Turner Classic Movies, I watched Vittorio De Sica’s Two Women on TCM when I was too young to be watching anything on there except maybe some old school kiddie musicals. Certainly AN EDUCATION.
In many ways, this movie was the blueprint for aspects of Almodóvar’s Volver. Particularly when reading Penélope Cruz’s performance through the history of what Sofia Loren crafted on screen. Highly recommend watching both back-to-back as an at home double feature. If you binge watch tv then you have the stamina to do movies back-to-back. Upgrade yourself babe.
Revisiting both movies got me thinking: to be socialized as a girl under the assumption that I would one day “become a woman”, is to understand the perpetual threat of patriarchal violence that undergirds the world at every turn. Perhaps for some who enter motherhood, the experience sharpens this understanding because now it’s not just you, now it’s also your heart living a whole other life outside of you. Wherever your heart goes you see the violence illuminated in places once unseen. I imagine that such a perceptual shift changes a person on every level, from the neurobiological to the spiritual.
3. Daughter’s of the Dust (1991)
Lineage. Legacy. Memory as a linchpin of posterity. This movie is poetry in motion. Watch it on a slow weekend while sipping on your favorite warm beverage.
If not for Julie Dash’s Daughters of the Dust there may not have been Beyonce’s Lemonade (2016) as we know it. The latter visual album is in direct conversation with the film.
Bonus Share! This interview with writer/director Julie Dash is an internet gem. I’ve got a journal somewhere filled with notes on this video. She’s so generous in her detailing. Would love to meet her one day.
4. A Most Violent Year (2014)
JESSICA CHASTAIN. OSCAR ISAAC. Both in fabulous costuming. Both flexing their Juilliard degrees to the max.
Another star is the film’s claustrophobically choreographed cinematography. This movie is a master-class in how movement, lighting, frame, tonality, and juxtaposition all work together to tell a story. You could watch this movie on mute, no subtitles, and still be riveted. That’s actually one of my favorite ways to rewatch certain movies if I want to study them scene by scene. I love a movie where I can pause at any moment and feel like I’m looking at an analog photograph or even a painting. After all, we started calling them movies because there was time when films were actual reels of film — ie: MOVING PICTURES — unspooling at a fast enough rate to create the illusion of frame by frame movement. Literal movie magic. I still remember the click of celluloid projectors at my neighborhood Regal. It’s the reason I have a preference for sitting in the top row at the movies, smack in the middle below the projection window; though it’s all digital projection now, there’s no telltale click at the start/stop of a movie anymore. Sighs.
Anyways, director J.D. Chandor and cinematographer Bradford Young WENT IN. They make you feel the suffocating weight of New York City in 1981 through the screen. Incredible.
5. Juno (2007)
This movie came out almost twenty years ago which is crazy. I had just started high school. I guess this means Juno is now a classic and that makes me…vintage? According to Vogue, yes lmao.
Anyways, #TEAMVANESSA4LYFE! Ifkyk and if not, definitely watch. Trailer chosen for the notable pixelation because hehe vintage.
6. I Like it Like That (1994)
A CRIMNALLY UNDERATED MOVIE.
Writer/Director Darnell Martin deserved better!
The freneticism of the South Bronx is palpable through the screen. There’s colorful set design, engaging camera-cuts, performances that pull at your heart-strings, make you laugh, and roll your eyes all in one sitting.
If chaotic-good was a movie, it would be this one.
7. Saving Face (2004)
While Volver is my #1 fave drama Saving Face is my #1 fave rom-com.
Picture this: you’re a lesbian in the early aughts and a rising doctor dating a ballerina turned contemporary dancer. You’re keeping it all hush-hush cuz family culture until your single mom moves in with you after your grandparents kick her out when they learn she’s been hiding her pregnancy…OMG HUH?! 10/10 must watch.
Stream the whole thing over on archive.org where you can watch movies for free without an account. You’re welcome. :)
8. All About My Mother (1999)
Started with Pedro, must end with Pedro. I can’t make a movie list themed around moms and not include a movie literally titled All About My Mother.
Decided to go with a commentated trailer featuring A.O. Scott instead of a traditional trailer because I like how it unfolds as a mini-video essay. Plus, it made me nostalgic for another era of The New York Times. This current era is not cute.
Fun fact: A.O. Scott’s mom is the influential historian Joan Wallach Scott. The scope of her research is fascinating, encompassing both the francophone world and gender studies. She’s cooler than her kid.
Also, look at this movie poster!
Venus of the Mind is designed for aesthetes.
On My Personal To Watch List
1. Love Letters (2026)
2. Montreal, My Beauty (2025/26)
All Roads Lead to Beauty
P.S. Your box of chocolates.
If this newsletter left you wanting more movie talk, I’ve got some brain food for you because sharing knowledge is a love language. Here are some tried and true texts I returned to while revisiting the above films and thinking through this newsletter. If you ever reach for one of these titles, or have engaged with them before, lmk! 💖
Art on My Mind: Visual Politics by bell hooks
Feminist Film Theory and Cléo from 5 to 7 by Hilary Neroni
On Photography by Susan Sontag
Women and Film: a Sight and Sound Reader edited by Pam Cook and Philip Dodd
Okay, I haven’t seen any of these and now want to see all of them!